Every product on this site carries a score out of 100. It is computed from what an item is actually made of, the record of the brand that makes it, and how much it genuinely sells — not from how much margin it earns us, and not from anything a supplier told us.
We publish it when it is unflattering. A cheap porous novelty scores low on its own product page, on the same site that sells it. That is the point: a rating you only ever see when it is good is an advertisement, not a rating.
How the score is calculated
There are two formulas, because the same question does not apply to everything we sell.
For toys — material 40%, brand 30%, demand 30%
For anything that goes on or in the body, what it is made of is the single most consequential fact, so it carries the largest share.
- Material (40%) — silicone, glass, borosilicate, stainless steel, metal, ceramic and ABS score full marks. TPE and TPR score roughly half. PVC, jelly and rubber score lowest, because they are porous.
- Brand record (30%) — manufacturers with a consistent history of body-safe materials and honest labelling score higher than unbranded or unknown suppliers.
- Real demand (30%) — how much the item actually sells across the industry, not how hard anyone is pushing it.
For everything else — brand 50%, demand 50%
Lingerie, costumes, games, bachelorette items, novelties, condoms and positioning aids are deliberately excluded from the material pillar. Material there is a fabric or construction fact, not a body-safety one. Scoring lace against a silicone-versus-PVC scale would be noise dressed up as a safety signal, so we do not do it.
Reviews adjust it slightly
Where a product has verified reviews, they move the score by up to five points either way. Only about 1% of the catalogue has enough reviews to matter, so this is a nudge, never the basis of a score.
Why porous materials score lower
Porous materials — PVC, jelly, TPE, TPR, rubber — have microscopic openings that trap bacteria. They cannot be fully sterilised, only cleaned on the surface. That does not make them unusable: they are usually cheaper, and they are a reasonable way to try a shape before committing. It does mean they are not something to keep for years, and it means a barrier is sensible.
We carry them, we sell them, and we tell you which ones they are. Our body-safe materials guide explains each material in detail, and the materials index covers individual ingredients.
Two worked examples
Sliquid Organics Natural Gel — 90/100. A water-based lubricant from a manufacturer with a long, consistent record, and a genuine industry best-seller. It is not a toy, so it scores on brand and demand alone: both are strong.
Blush Coverboy The Matador — 54/100. A best-seller from a reputable brand — but it is made of PVC, which is porous. The material pillar pulls it down, and the score says so on the product page, above the buy button. It is still a perfectly reasonable purchase for what it is; it is simply not a lifetime item.
What the score does not do
- It is not a review. We have not personally tested every item. The score is built from verifiable facts about materials, brands and sales, not from opinion.
- It does not measure how much you will enjoy something. Fit, preference and body are personal. A 90 that is the wrong shape for you is worse than a 55 that is right.
- It is not a safety certification. It is a comparative signal built from the best information available to us.
- No evidence means no score shown. If we know nothing about an item’s material, brand or demand, we display nothing rather than a number. A score of 19 built from an absence of data would tell you the product is bad, when the truth is that we have not established anything about it. Of 12,837 scored products, 11,395 have enough evidence to display a badge; the rest stay silent until we know more.
What the catalogue actually looks like
Published scores across the catalogue, as of August 2026:
- 80 and above: 906 products — body-safe materials from established brands
- 60 to 79: 5,507 products — the bulk of the range
- 40 to 59: 5,031 products — typically porous materials, or brands we know less about
- Below 40: 1,461 products — mostly porous novelty items
We are not going to pretend most of what we sell is exceptional. Roughly two-thirds of the catalogue sits between 40 and 79, which is what an honest distribution of an adult-toy catalogue looks like.
When we cannot measure demand
Our wholesale demand data stopped updating at the end of 2024. That left thousands of products — mostly the newest ones — with no way to evidence demand at all, and the score was quietly filling the gap with a neutral half-mark. The effect was a systematic penalty on everything new we stock: at one point only one product launched in the previous eighteen months scored 90 or above, against fifty-five older ones. A current flagship could be beaten by its own three-generations-old predecessor purely because the older model had accumulated sales.
That was the score recommending obsolete stock, so in August 2026 we changed it. When demand cannot be measured, we drop that pillar and score on what we can evidence — the same rule that already excludes material from lingerie rather than guessing at it. Redistribution only happens when at least two evidenced pillars remain, so a single fact can never become a whole verdict: “we recognise the brand” is not, on its own, a 100.
The honest trade-off: a new product with body-safe materials from a trusted brand can now score above an older product that also has a proven sales record. We think that is the right way round. The alternative was letting a dead data feed suppress every new thing we stock.
How it stays current
Scores are recomputed from the live catalogue as material data, brand records and sales figures change. Material classification is an ongoing job — we are steadily working through the range, and unclassified items score neutrally on that pillar rather than being penalised or flattered.
Found something wrong?
If you believe a score is incorrect — particularly a material we have recorded wrongly — tell us and we will check it. Corrections are the fastest way this gets better, and mislabelled material is the error that matters most.
Body-safe materials guide · Materials & ingredients index · Editorial standards · Brand comparisons